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Haunting Your Humidor

Halloween is almost here, and in keeping with that, we’ve decided that it’s time we address some of the scarier cigars out there. I’m talking about the ones that come with warning labels, or the ones that make you cough on the pre-light draw, or the ones that are just plain scary. These are cigars that give you bragging rights if you can smoke them without losing your ability to speak or think clearly.

First off there’s the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero. These stogies are packed with a heaping helping of powerful ligero tobacco, which is taken from the top of the plant where it is exposed to the most sunlight. This tobacco is very rich and oily, which makes it burn very slowly. Incidentally it’s also packed with tons of nicotine, so you could imagine how much your head would spin from smoking a Double Ligero. I smoked one of these on the top of Overlook Mountain in Woodstock, NY, and if I hadn’t taken it very slowly, I think it could’ve KO’d me. My advice is to heed the intimidating warning on the website: “eat before you smoke.”

Then there’s the Gurkha Evil, which Gurkha owner Kaizad Hansotia described as “just pure evil,” adding that it will test your ability to walk and talk after smoking. Gurkha cigars have a reputation for having an extra kick, and this is a perfect example of that. The wrapper on this stogie is from Brazil, which is famous for its powerful tobacco, and the filler is from Nicaragua. The word “spicy” is an understatement here—this is a peppery monster of a smoke that will challenge even the most experienced smoker.

The Rocky Patel Edge comes with a big warning on the box that reads, “WARNING: Professional smokers only. Smoke while sitting down.” These start out pretty manageable but the smoke gradually gets more and more peppery and intense, remaining smooth but still living up to its reputation as a powerhouse. Rocky Patel’s website declares, “It will leave the seasoned smoker weak in the knees without a harsh finish.”

In the spirit of Halloween, Tatuaje’s newest addition to their Monsters series, “The Face,” is named after Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series. I haven’t gotten my hands on any of these yet due to how limited the release is. Tatuaje released 666 boxes of 13 cigars on October 13 to just a few vendors throughout the country. The original 666 boxes were made to look bloody, beaten, and weathered in honor of the horror theme. The company is going to release another 1,300 boxes of The Face to a few more vendors. After seeing what happened with the rest of the Tatuaje Monster Series cigars, I expect these to be one of the most sought after cigars of the year.

Smoking cigars that have this kind of reputation gives me a pretty cool feeling, like I’m about to undergo some kind of big test. But if you take the cigar slowly (as you should in general), you’ll probably be able to handle it. It’s a good idea to sip on a glass of water, too, especially if your cigars like booze for company (like mine tend to). This helps to clear the palate between draws, and also keeps you nice and refreshed so the nicotine rush doesn’t take over. This list could go on, but I’ve got cigars that I should be smoking. So with that, I’d like to wish you all a safe and smoky Halloween weekend. If there are any intimidating smokes you’ve been meaning to try, post a comment!